The Nonexistent Ferris Bueller Soundtrack

I already talked about Ferris Bueller's Day Off in "My Favorite Teen Movies" post (10/20/08), but last week when I mentioned the nonexistent soundtrack in "The Definition of Green-Worthy," I figured I should share my research. What follows are all the songs listed in the end credits of the movie, in the order they appear, with a description of their scenes.

1. "WLS jingle" - I don't why, but the morning radio announcer at the very beginning is credited.

2. "MTV animation" - Such great postmodern pastiche editing after Ferris says "they bought it."

3a. "Love Missile F1-11" - Sigue Sigue Sputnick; immediately following the MTV animation from the time Ferris opens his blinds, adjusts his stereo, gives his "Faking Out Parents" list through showering and finally quoting John Lennon

3b. Technically, there's a lot of score music by either Arthur Baker, Ira Newborn, or John Robie between this and the next song, including the "Let My Cameron Go" bit from Cameron's futuristic bedroom, the Hawaiian stuff on Ferris' end of his phone call with Cameron, the march of the school nurse to get Ferris' girlfriend, Sloane, out of class, the bells while principal Ed Rooney's phone lines blink, and the James Bond-style horns when Ferris enters his kitchen in a suit

4. "Jeannie (Theme from TV's I Dream of Jeannie)" - I watched the movie again to make this list and I also made an inventory of his bedroom set. When I was in elementary school and junior high, I wanted everything in Ferris' bedroom. This song plays while he dances on his Persian rug (item #1).

5. "Oh Yeah" - Yello; the song plays in its entirety on the end credits with the school bus, but it makes a brief appearance in Cameron's garage on stilts over a wooded creek bed; such architecture really blew my mind as a kid

6. "Beat City" - The Flowerpot Men; featured from the school parking lot after picking up Sloane till our truant heroes arrive in downtown Chicago

7a. "Bad" - Big Audio Dynamite; playing faintly in the background at the parking garage (which may or may not be located in Italian Village from the establishing shot just before)

7b. More score music, like when Ferris' mom goes home to check his bedroom, the Minuet from String Quartet in E Major by Boccherini (not listed on the end credits) playing in the Chez Luis restaurant, the suspense/thriller sound accompanying Jeannie's thoughts in the school hallway, the jazzy theme before Ed Rooney gets spit on at the video arcade, and the '50s-era sitcom-style xylophone and tuba when the principal breaks into Ferris' backyard

8. "Star Wars (Main Title)" - John Williams; flying car scene

9. "Please Please Please Let Me Get What I Want (Instrumental)" - The Dream Academy; in the art museum; not to be confused with the original version of the song by The Smiths

10. "Danke Schoen" - Wayne Newton; the parade scene downtown; my wife could have sworn this was sung by a woman until I showed her the CD

11. "Twist and Shout" - The Beatles; the parade scene continued; turns out director John Hughes is a huge Beatles fan

12. "Radio People" - Zapp; in traffic on their way home, when Ferris notices the mileage on the car and Cameron yells interminably

13. "I'm Afraid (Instrumental)" - Blue Room; along the shore of Lake Michigan while Ferris "breaks the fourth wall" (i.e. talks directly to the audience; my favorite thing that actors do sometimes), I believe; I found a great You Tube video which explains why I still don't own this song after decades of collecting all the other songs on this list - http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IyNTYNAYS94

14. "Taking the Day Off" - General Public; in the swimming pool before Cameron says "Ferris Bueller you're my hero"

15. "The Edge of Forever" - The Dream Academy; during Ferris and Sloane's farewell kiss and him jumping a fence

16. "March of the Swivelheads" - The (English) Beat; while Ferris races his sister home

Here's the rest of Ferris' bedroom inventory: posters of Bryan Ferry, Cabaret Voltaire, Flesh for Lulu, The Killing Joke, and Simple Minds (items #2-6); a red rotary dial telephone (item #7); U.S. and U.K. flags (items #8-9); a moose head with a life preserver around its neck (items #10-11); dresser next to synthesizer keyboard next to bookshelf with stereo (items #12-14); chair with a picture of a horse head (item #15); and last but not least, a string wrapped around a trophy attached to a mannequin under the bed covers for "Faking Out Parents" (item #16)

OUT TODAY ON DVD: MAMMA MIA! (otherwise known as the movie with Meryl Streep wearing overalls)