Friday the 13th Times Three This Year

There will be another Friday the 13th next month and then again in November. "The fear of Friday the 13th is called paraskavedekatriaphobia" (Wikipedia). The Friday the 13th movie remake released today could be considered the 13th in the series, if you count Freddy vs. Jason and a fan film, Cold Heart of Crystal Lake (both from 2003). Below is a list of all the winks and nods in the remake to the '80s movies in the series:

1. Friday the 13th (1980) the "ki ki ki ma ma ma" echo reverberation music is used before the opening and end credits; there's a black and white flashback of Pamela Voorhees' decapitation during the opening credits; Jason jumps up from the lake at the end; people get killed with arrows

2. Friday the 13th Part 2 (1981) a FAST Jason with a sack on his head hangs around the rundown Camp Crystal Lake with a candlelit shrine to his mother and a Pamela Voorhees look-alike teenage girl shows up; a campfire scary story reveals the origin of Jason; he crashes through a window to grab someone; wheelchair

3. Friday the 13th Part III (in 3D, 1982) a BIG Jason gets the hockey mask; he's unmasked at the end; he's hung by a noose in a red barn

4. Friday the 13th: The Final Chapter (1984) "Clay comes to Crystal Lake searching for his sister just as Rob did; Jason tilts his head when someone says his name" (IMDb FAQ)

5. Friday the 13th: A New Beginning (1985) a silhouette of Jason standing in a barn door; a sheriff comes too late to help

6. Friday the 13th Part VI: Jason Lives (1986) a motorboat hits someone in the head; Jason pulled down with a chain around his neck; he's buried(?) at the bottom of the lake

7. Friday the 13th Part VII: The New Blood (1988) death by sleeping bag

8. Friday the 13th Part VIII: Jason Takes Manhattan (1989) Jason as a child

Friday the 13th '09 (one and a half stars total) As you can see above, the new remake does a lot to reverence the overall series. It's by the same producers that remade Texas Chainsaw Massacre (1974) and The Hitcher (1986), and are remaking The Last House on the Left (1972). Nothing is taken away, and the only things added are stoner humor (none of it funny) and a "realistic" explanation (unintentionally funny) for how Jason could live half his life in the woods and never be discovered. It turns out that Camp Crystal Lake is built on top of old abandoned mining tunnels and Jason has spent much of time hidden underground. This is unlike me to say, but I wish they would have continued improving upon the realism by having the sheriff turn out to be Jason's (never revealed) father, who has been secretly covering up the crimes and keeping the media at bay. Perhaps that would have been a rip-off of the Texas Chainsaw Massacre remake. What I'm about to say will reveal me for the non-European art critic that I am, but here it goes: The worst part of the movie was the nudity. I know sex sells, but what does it have to do horror?