"In addition, non-American writers are the perfect surface upon which to project our desire for the style and persona we associate with old-fashioned greatness. One hesitates to invoke the dread word "colonialism" here, but sometimes you've got to call a Mayflower a Mayflower. How else, really, to explain the reverse condescension that allows us to applaud pompous nonsense in the work of a Polish poet that would be rightly skewered if it came from an American?" (David Orr, The New York Times Book Review, February 22, 2009)
Slumdog Millionaire (three and a half stars total) asks the question: would Pretty Woman have been any more realistic if Richard Gere had met Julia Roberts as a child, before getting separated from her for many years, and they reunited before he got rich? Little kids playing cricket and pickpocketing at the Taj Mahal may have a new setting for their fairy tale, but that doesn't move the 2009 Best Picture any closer to real life. I personally don't care if Bollywood is melodramatic and full of music, I just wish the Oscar-winning music in Slumdog had sounded less like that of a cheesy Hollywood action/comedy/romance popcorn flick. I love M.I.A. (you can find "Paper Planes" on "My Top Twenty Songs of the Last Two Years" post from 9/9/08), but here she was too distracting from what she accompanied on the screen. It reminded me of the music from another Best Picture winner, Crash. I enjoyed everything about that film except for the wannabe controversial Arabic Raï style in the music. It didn't fit. There, I said it. The world can disagree with me. And here's another unpopular opinion: I hate Who Wants To Be a Millionaire? but once again, it's because of the distracting music. Fortunately, Slumdog isn't just an extended episode of Millionaire (scenes of torture, statutory rape, and kidnapping homeless babies prevent that). Unfortunately, Jason Bateman (Hancock, Juno) did not play the film's game show host like I thought, but isn't the resemblance uncanny? I'm trying to think of other epic romances that go back to childhood, but none spring to mind at the moment. I know Slumdog's a ripoff, but of what? And I wonder how many Slumdog impersonators we'll see over the next few years. The film itself hearkens back to City of God and True Romance. Don't get me wrong, I'm all for cheesy Hollywood action/comedy/romance popcorn flicks where the good guys are good and the bad guys are bad, I just felt like Slumdog was trying too hard to be that plus something else, and the tug of war wore me out. Anyway, the film does ask some important questions, like how many rings do you have your cell phone set to before it kicks to voicemail? You never know when someone may call you to be their lifeline, but it will probably happen when you've left your phone in the car.
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