Cemetery Man (two and a half stars total) Before becoming the voice of Prince Charming on Shrek 2 (2004), his leading role on The Importance of Being Earnest (2002) and starting a trend of gay best friends on chick flicks like My Best Friend's Wedding (1997), Rupert Everett was an exploitation movie heartthrob, playing an obsessive cemetery caretaker with a mentally challenged assistant in Dellamorte Dellamore (1994, Cemetery Man in the U.S.). Think Of Mice and Men (1937) meets Army of Darkness (1993), only with more style and less substance. Nice guy Rupert Everett picks up on widows at their recently deceased husband's funerals, castrates himself and does a drive-by shooting downtown. His Igor-like assistant pukes on the mayor's daughter right before she is decapitated in a motorcycle accident and then offers to marry her zombie head (sorry for all the plot spoilers). If that sounds offensive (moreso than Shrek 2), then you're getting the right idea. The word "giallo" is Italian for "yellow," and the Giallo movie genre shares the sensationalism of "yellow" journalism and the cheapness of trashy, Italian, pulp novels with yellow covers. It mainly refers to crime thrillers released in the '60s and '70s and directed by Dario Argento (Tenebre, 1982), Mario Bava (The Girl Who Knew Too Much, 1963), Lucio Fulci (see below) or Sergio Martino (Torso, 1973). What does that have to do with Cemetery Man? Well, the Giallo movie genre soon veered into the teen slasher and zombie horror subgenres, and Michele Soavi, the director of Cemetery Man, is a protégé of Dario Argento. Fans of Terry Gilliam might also be interested to know Soavi worked on The Adventures of Baron Munchhausen (1988) and The Brothers Grimm (2005). Obviously these are all cult movies, but what other kind could have taught me a word like "ossuary?" (That word is the cue to Cemetery Man's best scene, shown below.)
Zombie (also known as Zombi 2, Island of the Living Dead, Zombie Island, Zombie Flesh Eaters and Woodoo; one star total) Not all zombies are created equal (neither are all zombie movies). Traditionally they are "undead" because of supernatural curses, mostly from Afro-Caribbean Voodoo but arguably from Egyptian mummification as well. Some come from medical science like in Mary Shelley's Frankenstein (1818) and H.P. Lovecraft's Herbert West - Reanimator (1921). Others come from exposure to radiation like in George Romero's Night of the Living Dead (1968). Apocalyptic zombies are the current popular form and probably come from our fears about infectious viruses like AIDS and Bird flu, hence the animal origins in Peter Jackson's Dead Alive (1992) and Danny Boyle's 28 Days Later (2002). Lucio Fulci's Zombi 2 (1979) can't really be considered "the Italian" sequel (even though it tried) to George Romero's Dawn of the Dead (1978, which was was called Zombi in Italy) because it's based on Voodoo and not radiation. Cheap. Exploitative. But what else could you expect from a Giallo director? Keep in mind that it was released a year after Faces of Death and I Spit on Your Grave (both 1978) and the same year as Caligula (1979). It was riding on the peak of exploitation fare. It's not completely void of ingenuity though. It just takes an hour to get to the zombie takeover. The first 20 minutes are a complete waste of time and filmstrip. The movie doesn't start to pick up until the infamous underwater zombie versus shark fight. If that scene isn't worth your price of admission alone, may I recommend fast-forwarding to the eye-gouging or the jugular spurting. The Blue Underground 25th Anniversary Special Edition DVD offers audio tracks in English or Italian, plus subtitles for both, but you don't really need the audio. Fans praise the soundtrack for sounding creepy, but it's just distorted and repetitive chords on '70s-era synthesizer.
Thursday, October 22, 2009
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