Above are the results of an online poll, printed in the September 10, 2010 issue of Entertainment Weekly. In terms of scare factor, I agree with the order, although I'd eliminate The Strangers from the list entirely and maybe replace it with the remake of The Last House on the Left (2008). If you're thinking about watching any horror movies during the Halloween season and you haven't seen the ones on this list, it's as good a place as any to get ideas. None of them are personal favorites of mine but then the scariest movie I've ever seen isn't either. Curious? Before I say what it is, let me clarify that it isn't necessarily a recommendation. Do you believe in fates worse than death? Do you mind subtitles? I ask these questions because the scariest movie I've ever seen, Audition (1999), has both, plus it leaves a lot of things unresolved, and most people I know demand nicely wrapped, Hollywood packages. I'm not one of those people.Before you judge me for watching a bunch of horror movies, check this out: The other day I was standing in line at a Wendy's and there was a group of women laughing behind me. They obviously did manual labor because of their blue shirts and dirty faces. One of them said matter-of-factly, "I had to call the police on my husband AGAIN" and then she chuckled. The other women made some unbelievable cracks about getting beat up and they all took turns giggling. When I finally got my food, I overheard one of them say "a nice, sharp screwdriver to the neck would do the trick" and another followed that with "but you'd have to smash your face against a brick wall to make it look like self-defense." Some people wonder where the ideas for horror movies come from, but they're all over the front page of the newspaper. And the second page. And every page after that. Morning, noon and night. It's as hard to avoid horror as it is to go through life without ever standing in a line. The real question people should ask is, "why does anyone keep up with the news?"
I can already hear people excusing the news as informative while condemning horror movies because they "glorify" violence. My claim is that both sometimes do both. The worst news is useless sensationalism that unintentionally glorifies violence by awarding it fifteen minutes of fame. The best horror movies are informative, cautionary tales, neither exploitative nor politically funded. The easy mistake to make is to define all movies exclusively as entertainment. People say, "I don't want to spend $20 at the theater to be grossed out and left feeling depressed!" Personally, I can't think of a better place to watch horror movies than on the big screen, in the dark, deafened by screaming but free from the distractions at home. However, I am as much "entertained" by all that as others are by watching the news. I used to work with a guy who said his perfect day would consist of sitting at home watching CNN. All. Day. Long. To me, that just sounded like school, which may give insight on how to think about horror movies.
Let's check the metaphor. College costs a lot of money. It causes stress and affects your sleeping habits. Hopefully, it's remembered with fondness and leaves you with a few valuable life lessons. That sounds like a horror movie to me. Consider the following reasons why people watch horror movies, then compare and contrast them with the standard college experience (I find it helps to break things down into the motivation and organization theory, or "four dimensions" of human nature, from The Seven Habits of Highly Effective People, by Stephen Covey):
1. Emotional - escape from mundane life and/or a euphoric sense of relief at the end
2. Mental - perspective on personal problems and/or a test of courage
3. Physical - adrenaline rush and/or an excuse to get high
4. Spiritual - a taste of forbidden fruit and/or vicarious rebellion against social norms
You could argue that people go to action thrillers or gross-out comedies for all the same reasons, but none to the same degree.
People go to horror movies to be affected on a deeper level. If that makes me sound emo, goth, or holier than thou, I don't mean it that way. And it has nothing to do with being desensitized or numb either. People who can watch the news without feeling powerless or at least partly responsible are the desensitized ones. Most action thrillers and gross-out comedies are full of flattery. This is almost the opposite of horror movies and that's why they're a surer bet if you're looking to be deeply affected at the box office. On the other hand, genuine scares are harder to come by than laughs or sighs, hence all the bad horror movies out there. It helps if you know what scares you the most, aside from death, pain or paralysis (again, the "four dimensions" work well):
1. Emotional (threats against home)
abduction/false imprisonment/identity theft
alien invasion/government conspiracy/terrorism
bullying/pedophilia/rape
2. Mental (threats against reason)
addiction/hallucination/split personalities
brainwashing/hypnosis/sleepwalking
imaginary friends/implanted memories/metafiction
3. Physical (threats against body)
birth defects/deformity/nuclear fallout
disease outbreak/mutilation/surgery
metamorphosis/nature gone wild/primitive creatures
4. Spiritual (threats against faith)
demonic possession/evil children/reincarnation
devil worship/paganism/ritual sacrifice
fortune-telling/voodoo/witchcraft
Looking back at my October 1 posts from 2008 and 2009, I realized that I've yet to specifically detail why I love Halloween and watch horror movies. I've compared Halloween to my other favorite holiday, Christmas Eve, and I've ranked my own top ten horror movies, so I guess I've already offered some indirect reasons. To put it in a nutshell, I could just say I like the way they make me feel. That leaves out a lot of descriptive words though. As for Halloween, I'll go with clichés like the crisp autumn air and the magic of playing pretend. I'd be lying if I didn't admit to nostalgia, but as a child, the reason it was so cool was the danger element behind going out after dark. Nowadays I have to supplement my holiday with horror movies to get back to that fear from yesteryear. You see, it's fun to be scared. It's obvious and simple, and it may seem like it's missing from the list of reasons above, but it's inherent in all of them.
Here is an alphabetical list of all the movies I watched for the first time during my last "31 Days of Halloween" and the ratings I gave them (titles in bold are those I had yet to see from my "100 Years of Horror" post 10/30/08):
1920 The Cabinet of Dr. Caligari (3 stars)
1942 Cat People (2 stars)
1994 Cemetery Man (2.5 stars)
1971 A Clockwork Orange (3.5 stars)
1954 Creature from the Black Lagoon (3.5 stars)
1993 Cronos (2.5 stars)
1944 The Curse of the Cat People (2.5 stars)
1992 Dead Alive (1.5 stars)
2009 Drag Me to Hell (2 stars)
1990 The Exorcist III (2 stars)
1956 Godzilla, King of the Monsters! (2.5 stars)
1981 Halloween II (2.5 stars)
2009 Halloween II (2 stars)
1987 Hellraiser (3 stars)
1977 The Hills Have Eyes (2.5 stars)
2006 The Hills Have Eyes (3 stars)
1985 The Hills Have Eyes Part 2 (1 star)
2007 The Hills Have Eyes 2 (2 stars)
1957 The Incredible Shrinking Man (2.5 stars)
2009 Jennifer's Body (2 stars)
1972 The Last House on the Left (1.5 stars)
2008 The Last House on the Left (3.5 stars)
2009 Paranormal Activity (4 stars)
1925 The Phantom of the Opera (3.5 stars)
2007 Planet Terror (2.5 stars)
1988 The Return of the Living Dead Part II (2 stars)
1968 Rosemary's Baby (4 stars)
2009 Saw VI (2 stars)
2007 Trick'R Treat (2.5 stars)
2009 Where the Wild Things Are (3 stars)
1932 White Zombie (1.5 stars)
1979 Zombi 2 (1 star)
2009 Zombieland (4 stars)
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