Why Go to the Cinema?

Reading this blog, you might think I go to the movies every weekend. I wish I could, but I don't and I probably couldn't. Some people prefer watching movies at home (no wall-mounted, giant-screen HDTV at my house), others think the seats at theaters are nasty (they may be, but you can't tell in the dark), and nearly everyone agrees that more than $10 a head plus snacks plus gas money to get there plus having to find a parking spot and possibly having to pay for that spot isn't worth it for a movie. At least for us, that's where the drive-in comes in - less than $10 each for a double feature, cheaper snacks, and parking included. But I digress, my point here is that I go to movies for the experience - to look at ALL the posters in the lobby, to smell the popcorn, to NOT go to the bathroom in the middle of the movie, to hear what makes others laugh, scream, or cry, and most importantly, to be immersed in the big screen (for more on this, see the quote at the very bottom*). I arrive at least fifteen minutes early to get a perfectly centered seat and watch ALL the trailers, which are as important if not more important than the feature presentation. I would gladly accept free movie passes to any movie (being the pro bono critic that I am), but how do I decide what I absolutely HAVE TO SEE opening weekend? Simple, I only go to the most cinematic of all cinema premieres, which are action and animated movies. But sometimes I also have to see the ones that "everyone's talking about," the controversial indies, the festival favorites, and for obvious reasons, most adaptations of bestselling books and prime time TV shows. Is that too many movies for you? Then just focus on my personal favorite action and animated movies listed below:

Action

1. First Blood (1982) which was a 1972 debut novel by David Morrell before it was a Stallone franchise; on one DVD edition, the author does a commentary and explains what both incarnations of the story did for the action genre in general, both in print and on the big screen; the main difference between the book and the movie is that everyone (including Rambo) dies in the book whereas no one gets killed by Rambo in the movie; the book was all about the relationship between an old WWII vet (the sheriff) and young soldier just back from Korea (Rambo) and the differences between their values, etc.; the movie moves it forward a decade or two and makes it about the unfair treatment of Vietnam vets by society at large; the book was actually based on various accounts told to the author by college students who had served in Vietnam; my favorite part of the movie is Rambo's pacifism; I thought the book was horribly depressing, as it should be; action movies in the '80s seem to be divided between the buddy comedies (Beverly Hills Cop, Lethal Weapon) and "one man army" movies (Commando, Die Hard); well, First Blood was the first "one man army" movie and it featured one man beating an entire sheriff's office and the national guard

2. Leon: The Professional (1994) if we judge all action movies by the threat that the protaganist overcomes, then Leon beats the entire police department, and does so within their own building; see also for a young Natalie Portman and a junkie cop played by Gary Oldman; I love Luc Besson movies

3. The Bourne Identity (2002) Matt Damon on the run from all of interpol plus fellow assassins and gritty realism

4. District B13 (2004) the jaw-dropping breath of fresh air I experienced seeing this in theaters was probably comparable to what audiences watching First Blood had when it was released

5. Raiders of the Lost Ark (1981) a college professor vs. booby traps (The Goonies took notes), snakes, and a shipful of Nazis

6. Walking Tall (2004) based on a true story, The Rock takes on all the tough guys in a casino barehanded (of course)

7. Kickboxer (1989) JCVD does the Karate Kid thing, but in Thailand, and to avenge more than just a black eye and a broken bicycle; it's got a drunken brawl and the ugliest villain you've ever seen

8. Kuffs (1992) Christian Slater vs. the ugliest-dressed villain doing drive-bys, plus cops fighting other cops and a symphony of sound effects to censor F-bombs that you have to hear to believe

9. La Femme Nikita (1990) before it was an awful, awful, awful TV series, it was a Luc Besson movie, later remade as Point of No Return with Bridget Fonda; I include it moreso for the premise than the action specifically; the "one man army" is replaced by a woman here

10. The Fast and the Furious (2001) while there are fisticuffs and Vin Diesel, there are cars! lots and lots of cars! providing all the action you could need in this movie

Alternates: The Mask of Zorro (1998) along with The Count of Monte Cristo (which is more of a drama, 2002) feature the best swashbuckling I've seen and remembered; I'm no Fairbanks or Flynn expert, nor have I seen my dad's favorite critically-lampooned Rob Roy (or Cutthroat Island, I can't remember which); Robin Hood: Prince of Thieves (1991) had its problems, but it also featured a little guerilla warfare, plus a witch that scares my baby brother to this day (in his 20s now)

Animated

1. The Adventures of Ichabod and Mr. Toad (1949) I've talked about this movie in an earlier post, but what makes a good animated movie for me is "magic realism," where you find something magical in an otherwise mundane or normal setting; this can be seen in a toad driving a car and then being taken to court or a haunted forest made up of gnarled branches and streamside cattails in the wind

2. Snow White and the Seven Dwarfs (1937) here's another scary forest, but also the rare appearance of a beautiful villainess; I hate it when lazy, manipulative stories divide the good guys and the bad guys into pretty people and ugly people

3. Toy Story 2 (1999) this is a rare example of a sequel which is even better than the original, which is also excellent; the best addition here is a dead-on parody of adult toy collectors

4. Toy Story (1995) maybe it's just because I believed my childhood toys were living souls, but everyone else seems to enjoy this series over other Pixar fare too; I hear they're making a third one; ask not what your toys can do for you, but what you can do for your toys!

5. The Emperor's New Groove (2000) is there a funnier Disney movie?

6. The Rescuers (1977) going back to the concept of magic realism, what makes this movie for me is the scrap-based infrastructure of the mice; I love each and every alternative use they find for common household objects and their interaction with other animals; just like Mickey Mouse is unrealistically bigger than the dog Pluto, who for some reason can't talk like Mickey, the giant gators(?) in The Rescuers are smart, but not as smart as the talking mice

7. 101 Dalmations (1961) my favorite Disney villain is Cruella; another thing I like about animation is the "cartoon physics" which allow Cruella's car to make turns at velocities even the Tron cycles couldn't do

8. Over the Hedge (2006) best. suburban. satire. ever.

9. Peter Pan (1953) on the DVD commentary, Walt Disney himself says that Peter Pan was his least favorite because it didn't have the "bittersweet" (I'm paraphrasing the rest) of his other animated movies; I can see how that might be, but how can he deny Tinker Bell, who is almost a bigger (not counting size) mascot than Mickey?

10. The Secret of NIMH (1982) the first Don Bluth feature, based on a book where the main character's name had to be changed due to trademark concerns with Frisbee discs, has mice (and rats) that live and build like the ones in The Rescuers, but these ones also have magic (not in the book however); this glowing, gold magic makes for some of the coolest animation I've ever seen; interestingly, the book came out just a year before First Blood, bringing this post almost full circle

Alternates: The Iron Giant (1999) by Brad Bird, has Jennifer Aniston playing a mom (don't stop there) of a boy who has an E.T.-like friend; Monster House (2006) is so good and so funny right up to its horrible ending; sigh

*My parents were recently in town, and for whatever reason my dad loaded up on "$1 bargains" at our library's book sale. They bought me one I'd never heard of called How to Go to the Movies, by Quentin Crisp. Before dismissing it entirely, I figured I'd at least read the first chapter and lo and behold it contained some of the most profound statements I've read in quite a while. Let me share just one quote: "By comparison with the movies, the stage is as intimate as a football field. Our vision of a play is telescopic. We can hardly tell whether the leading lady is smiling or frowning. This handicap seduces her into multiplying her every gesture, her every word by the seating capacity of the theater . . . On television the situation is reversed. The scale of the image tends to belittle the performer . . . we watch her with half an eye and treat her with that contempt we usually reserve for our families. In between these two media, the cinema holds a unique position. It allows us an intimate glimpse of a woman's soul that could never be obtained in real life. There our scrutiny would cause its object either to pretend to be shocked or to give way to hideous exhibitionism. In a movie house, we are totally absent from the action being shown on the screen, but at the same time we are immersed in it."