Kid Logic

I'd like to take this opportunity to "overshare" some of my ignorant childhood views of the world. First off, where do babies come from? Up until fourth grade, I had no idea that parents had any say in the matter. I honestly thought God just pointed his finger at unsuspecting, married women and ZAP! They were pregnant. I used to look at families with nine kids and wonder if God had it out for them. I was completely unaware of abortion, miscarriage, puberty, sex in general, and teen pregnancy. Furthermore, genetics meant nothing to me for many years even after I learned about sex. Up until I had my son, I was convinced that I would be "cursed" (ha ha) with all daughters because I had more friends that were girls than boys. Now when I consider that my dad had all boys and his dad had all boys and one girl, it should have been obvious to me that boys ran in my genes. Jumping back to childhood, I truly believed that one of my dad's brothers was Hispanic, despite having two Caucasian parents. I thought that any parents could have children of any race. Think that's too imaginative? Then try the purpose of butter/margarine: we used to say my mom "nuked" all the meals she cooked for us because they were always still too hot to eat when we first sat down at the table. Because she always put butter/margarine on the food after bringing it to the table, I got it in my head that it was not for seasoning but for cooling the temperature of the food. I mean, we stored it the fridge and it did cut down on steam, right? I continued to think this through more than 20 years of making toast. I kid you not, I learned the truth from a college roommate. I still have a problem with seasons though. Because schools have fall semesters that start in August and spring semesters that start in January and summer vacations that start in May (mine did, anyway), I've never be able to adjust to the science of equinoxes and solstices. I can't wrap my mind around Labor Day being the hottest weekend of the year. See, if autumn starts in August, then it should be cooler by September, right? Though snow may be on the ground the first week of January, I still want to believe in the back of my mind that spring has begun. And halfway through summer will always be the same as halfway through the calendar year for me. That's just pure logic...