Word Play

"Sam Weller, Mr. Pickwick's good-natured servant in Charles Dickens' The Pickwick Papers, and his father were fond of following well-known sayings or phrases with humorous or punning conclusions. For example, in one incident in the book, Sam Weller quips, "What the devil do you want with me, as the man said, when he see the ghost?" Neither Charles Dickens nor Sam Weller invented that type of word play, but Weller's tendency to use such witticisms had provoked people to start calling them "Wellerisms" by 1839, soon after the publication of the novel. Some examples of common Wellerisms are 'Every one to his own taste,' said the old woman as she kissed the cow,' and 'I see,' said the blind man." (www.phrases.org.uk/.../780.html)

My dad taught us a saying when we were kids. There are many different versions of it online (see also American Children's Folklore: A Book of Rhymes, Games, Jokes, Stories, Secret Languages, Beliefs and Camp Legends for Parents, Grandparents, Teachers, Counselors and All Adults Who Were Once Children, Simon J. Bronner), but none are quite as funny as this one:

"Ladies and jelly beans,
Nobles and tramps,
Cross-eyed mosquitoes and bow-legged ants,
I stand here before you and not behind you
to tell you something I know nothing about:
George Washing Machine crossed the
Missisloppy River in 1492 with the
Star-Spangled Banana in one hand and the
Declaration of Appendicitus in the other.
The meeting's on Tuesday so come on Wednesday.
Pull up a chair and sit on the floor."

I once recited this at a family reunion and my older cousin came right back with his own:

"One bright day in the middle of the night,
Two dead boys got up to fight.
Back to back they faced each other,
drew their swords and shot each other.
A deaf policeman heard the noise
and ran to save the two dead boys.
If you don't believe this lie is true,
ask the blind man, he saw it, too."

And that last line brings us back to the top with the complete Wellerism,

"I see," said the blind man to his deaf daughter as he picked up his hammer and saw.

Or as I learned it:

"I see," said the blind man to his deaf dog as he stuck out his peg leg to check if it was raining.